Beck Says "Obama's Food Police" Will "Take Tony The Tiger Out Back" And "Shoot Him In The Head"
First they came for Tony the Tiger,
and I did not speak out because I preferred Captain Crunch.
Then they came for Captain Crunch,
and I did not speak out because Fruit Loops are pretty good.
Then they came for Toucan Sam,
and I did not speak out because Lucky Charms are magically delicious!
Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Thers
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22 comments:
Obama's America: Russian bear, da! Sugar Bear, nyet!
Also, shoot Tony the Tiger in the head? Correct me if I'm wrong, but he's talking about a fucking cartoon character.
Who's a cartoon character? Tony the Tiger, or Beck?
Cuz, yeah, cutting down on the amount of processed sugar in kids' diets is JUST LIKE PULLING GOLD TEETH OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS BEFORE GASSING THEM WITH ZYKLON-B!!!!!!!
....wanted to be a little more explicit with my Godwinning.
Cuz, yeah, cutting down on the amount of processed sugar in kids' diets
Um, yeah. Kids. Totally.
[Crunching noises]
I thought this was you, R.G.
I could tell from your blog posting style.
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Beck is saying that this is not important. Get the economy fixed first, I think is what he is mumbling. Because he can only think of one thing at a time, obviously so can you.
And uh, flow on benefits to the economy?
May I just say how pissed I am I didn't get a chance to make a "me Lucky Charms!" joke?
SHAN'T!
This blog is bullshit!
I am a good person who eats Life cereal.
I am a good person who eats Life cereal.
I am a live zombie who eats good people.
Most of them have WAAAYYY too much sugar too.
Free range people make for healthier meals, zrm.
Of course, it costs time and money to get out past the Milwaukee suburbs...
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""Life" cereal is the worst tasting cereal I have ever et, ever. "
You, SIR, are a bad person. Now watch me flounce away in a dramatic fashion.
"I am a live zombie who eats good people."
Whew! I am safe.
Madam is protected by the pee smell, I believe.
Of course, it costs time and money to get out past the Milwaukee suburbs...
it has been proven, sir, that a suburban lifestyle is more car-intensive, and that urban dwellers do more walking....
madam is protected by the pee smell, I believe.
Has anybody told her that after solid food starts, all her clothes will also have puke stains?
Sexiness!
Tony the Tiger frightens me.
I mean, think about it. People are sitting at their tables in their neat suburban homes, in the glare and hopelessness of early morning, shoveling processed, artificially sweetened grain products into their flabby, sagging faces, thinking about their pathetic existences, their dimly remembered excesses of the previous evening and the grinding meaninglessness of the day that stretches interminably ahead of them, when this big bipedal feline asshole with a fucking napkin tied around his neck like some kind of NFL gangbanger spun all the way up on Ritalin and Purple Drank bursts into the room and shouts "THEY'RE GREAT" without prelude or context, looks smug, as if he's accomplished something spectacular and important, and leaves unscathed, obviously to repeat this brutal crime one block over.
Shoot him in the goddam head, sez I...
mikey is a very clear thinker on this issue.
Pour Some Sugar On Me
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Poor Thurl is already dead.
vacuumslayer said...
May I just say how pissed I am I didn't get a chance to make a "me Lucky Charms!" joke?
I left "cereal killer" for anyone who wanted it...
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LOL
Pour some sugar on me was good.
While I had oatmeal and blueberries,(mock me, go ahead)losing Lucky Charms would be devastating.
Now, who am I supposed to hate? Glenn Beck or President Obama?
oh, and....too late.
Um, yeah. Kids. Totally.
[Crunching noises]
I usually blame the kids when Dr. Mrs. fish shows me the empty box.
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