Wednesday, April 27, 2011

HUGE WIN FOR DONALD TRUMP!

The Certificate Of Live Birth Of The Pretzeldent/Muslin Usurper From Kenya


How many years has America™ demanded this document, in vain? And in just a few weeks, The Donald flings his hairpiece thingy into the pretzeldentshal race, and Whoomp There It Is!



This, of course, proves once again that Donald Trump should be the G.O.P. nominee in 2012.


UPDATE: I AM PROUD, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I AM HONORED. NOW MAYBE WE CAN GET PAST THIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE ISSUE (IF, INDEED, THIS IS A REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE...WE CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL, MY FELLOW REAL AMERICANS!)



RE-UPDATE: Of course, this changes nothing.

RE-RE-UPDATE
:



Malkin is shocked, SHOCKED I say! by these allegations of racism. Legitimate concerns!!!



Is that Pammy Atlas, famous bikini vlogger, aka the shrieking harpy, on FOX Business News???

I'll just quote a common tater at Wonkette:

~

23 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Donald Trump should be the G.O.P. nominee in 2012.


well, I agree with that. He embodies the Modern Republican Party: vain, egocentric, loud, boorish, much-married and divorced, adulterous, bankrupt, and likes firing people.

And weird, weird hair.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Post updated, zrm!
~

vacuumslayer said...

It would be wrong of me to snatch that tribble off his head and shove it down his throat, right?

Jennifer said...

Don't insult tribbles... they'd never sit atop that head.

I saw Trump from the side for the first time in a long time... he's working on a mullet! Or a DA. I thought those went out a few decades ago. Egads... Why do I imagine him storing that hair in a garment bag at night.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

vs, Jennifer: I'm fairly certain (and always certain to be fair) that that is Trump's back hair, carefully groomed and sculpted.
~

Jennifer said...

Yeah, I've thought the same thing... If it were curlier, I'd venture to guess it was his unruly pubes.

Jennifer said...

It would be wrong of me to snatch that tribble off his head and shove it down his throat, right?

Also... I'm not sure you should use "snatch" in conjunction with Trump's hair... His head could use a bikini wax.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

related, and EEEP!

Jennifer said...

Oh my GAWD! He's a pony!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Also.

Jennifer said...

I bet he plays Fabio fantasies at night.

Jennifer said...

LOL! Hell Toupee!

El Snacktator said...

Did somebody say, "Tribbles"??

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I, for one, believe that the critter on top of the Donald's head is calling all the shots.

Kneel before Hair Piece!
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Well, at least Trump is correct when he says this is his greatest achievement.

-comment stolen from Wonkette

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Trump- proof positive that one can't buy class.

Jennifer said...

Hey thundra?? Whatever became of your improv class?? I'm guessing you're not doing it anymore since you've been held up on the east coast...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

President Obama finally gave them the one thing they asked for, and to to avoid just shutting up finally, they refuse to accept it.

in other news, only Obama is surprised by this.

vacuumslayer said...

Jennifer, gmta, cuz I knew I was insulting tribbles even as I typed that comment.

Thunder, it's EEEEEEWWWW cuz it's TRUUUUUUUUE.

mikey said...

Speaking strictly for me (and Bouffant, because for whatever reason we're rooting for the same dystopian outcome), the very idea of the Republican primaries sends a pretty serious frisson running down my spine.

I'm serious. I can NOT wait to see this thing play out. Palin, Trump, Huckabee, Romney, Pawlenty, Gingrich (for a little while), Mitch Daniels, Rick Perry.

Christ's Tits in a Mason Jar, people, this is going to be more entertaining than a poorly aimed gunfight downtown.

It's gonna be a perfect storm, a perpetual motion machine that produces increasing levels of crazy. Think about it - they'll all be trying to impress the same angry, bigoted, fearful, tribal base of white men and the battered women who fear them.

It'll be like if the Taliban hired Simon Cowell to run their campaign. By the time it's over, well, the good news is the Republican party will be finished as a national power, and the bad news will be we'll be a one-party state with very high barriers to entry for sane and productive participants.

But hey - one thing at a time. Popcorn ain't gonna be close to good enough - I'm gonna make a big bowl of tadziki and another of Guacamole. And somebody oughta bring Rellenos...

EWeston said...

Reagan's hair could take Trump's hair two falls out three.

It could be availible for nomination. Just sayin.

M. Bouffant said...

I won't speak for mikey ('though it's OK if he wants to speak for me; I'm that lazy) but my lust for dystopia may have to do w/ being a childless, petless & aging wretch whose ego demands that the world come to an end about the same time he does. I'll be laughing hysterically all the way down, of course.

Snag said...

I would pay a reasonably large sum of money to watch a Trump/Bachmann/Palin debate. I would pay significantly more if it was moderated by Jon Stewart and/or Tina Fey.