Friday, May 20, 2011

Rapture Time is almost upon us!


Yes, people, tomorrow Jesus will take all the saints (they know who they are!) up to heaven, leaving the rest of us to burn in the lake of fire.

I'm gonna miss them! *sniff*

No wonder Mooselini has yet to throw her Bumpit™ into the ring. She's going to be gone by Sunday! I'll miss her. Who are you going to miss?



UPDATE: Keeping up with the zombie.


~

17 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Who are you going to miss?

Not a single one of the god-bothering moralistic idiots.

Brando said...

I won't miss any of them, thanks to the handy scope on my Rapture Rifle.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Skeet Christians!

Von said...

I won't miss any of my bloggy frenz, as we're all so totally left behind.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Not me. Jezizzle is my fellow zombizzle.

I just hope the Rapture-Beam is gentle, so acceleration doesn't cause Zombie parts to fall off.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Damned st8, zrm.

Everyone knows you can't get into heaven unless you're properly dressed. Velvet ropes, and such as.
~

Randal Graves said...

You know what happens when you assume anyone's going to be missed.

Rapture!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I, for one, am confident that I will be one of the "Elect" at the Velocirapture.

vacuumslayer said...

I've got two words for you, thunder. And when it's these words, you only need two: CHUCK. NORRIS. BAM!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Funny you should say that, BBBB.

(See update.)
~

mikey said...

A couple of weeks ago I came across a serious religious discussion attempting to determine what form you'd take when raptured. Would you rise from the grave all rotted and icky? What if you had been cremated? And babies - would they become adults? And crippled old people - would they become younger, or at least healthier, in order to get around better? I mean, no matter how cool heaven might be, it's gonna well and truly suck from behind a Zimmer Frame (ask Smut).

Anyway, aside from being kinda creepy, and the preposterous assumption that god is omnipotent and yet they could figure all this shit out on their own, along with the essential core silliness of the entire concept, it was pretty funny...

Substance McGravitas said...

leaving the rest of us to burn in the lake of fire

We gotta do the Tribulation next, when we find out who the Antichrist really is. The office pool says Bieber.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

find out who the Antichrist really is

Nah. It's Jobs.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

According to the Book of Jobs, it's Bill Gates.
~

Smut Clyde said...

I won't miss any of my bloggy frenz

I'll keep in touch. There'll be internet access in Heaven.

Another Kiwi said...

Well it draws on toward R-Hour and nothing is unusual.The happy Christian people next door are working in their backyard like they don't know something and the pagans amongst us are looking up Bumpits (seriously? That would never be a product name in the Commonwealth) and google earthing 31 Middleton road in Auckland where they used to live and where they met the future famous All Black when he was a builder.
Tremors have been noticed in denizens of this house but we are blaming the two cups of plunger-style coffee.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

hah. I knew the Rapture was nothing but a load of hooey.

Nobody's going anywhere. Funny light outs